Creatures of Creases

Written by Kate Wildrick, December 11, 2024

In coming out of one of the toughest weeks I have experienced in years, I feel as if I have been hurled into this space where dust, debris and rocks are getting kicked up all around me as I roll and skid to a stop. I would like to think I am that person right now that is sitting there marveling at how the nicks, gashes and bruises I have incurred are delightful reminders that I have made it through and that there is an excitement brewing within that is celebrating, ‘I made it.’ However, I honestly feel more like origami. The tight creases and folds are like armor. Somewhere within, they contain the illusions, delusions, stories, beliefs and delicate patterns that make me who I think I am. I do not trust my brain. I have reason to question my emotions. So it is here I sit in the folds and take inventory as I find that quiet space I have ached to sit in for quite some time. I am looking for those tucks and seams that are worn and malleable to find a way within. The folded being I am existing as right now must change and this time, I wish to be the artist and the architect of what I will become.

I think of origami cranes (not that I feel I am one). However, in exploring how this artful creation is constructed, I think of how one must must first of all decide they wish to transform a piece of paper into a delicate and sturdy expression of this regal bird. The perfect paper with a captivating color or pattern is selected and then there is the process of knowing what folds and creases to make so that form follows thought and produces a captivating outcome.

I then think of unfolding that paper and looking at all of the texture and form that still holds the shape that made the bird. Imagining a new form, like a frog for example, and working with the same paper, I consider how the impeccable creases that gave a crisp expression and eloquent form now become a challenge and a hinderance to shaping something new. The dull edges make it difficult to maintain the shape of a new creature. Attention and focus to adjusting the position and posture become a new task, as the paper almost appears to have muscle memory to go back to what it was before.

When I consider how much effort it has taken to create a bird and then a frog, I then contemplate what would a third, fourth and so on creation do this paper. I imagine that this fabric would get thinner. The color and the patterns that it was printed with may change or dull. The texture would become more around that of a wadded up paper that was crumpled up and unfolded and crumpled up again and again. It would be harder to hold a form. Structurally speaking, it would become weaker and weaker.

In saying this, it is no wonder that we are like origami. It is easier to stay in an original form that often was created with the hands of others’ persuasion, influence, manipulation and input. Most of us, including myself, rarely ever see what kind of shape we have been molded into and existing as. However, we can feel those seams and folds holding what may not be ours together. Somewhere within is something greater that longs to be expressed and witnessed. There is tremendous value of venturing into the folds to know what resides inside. However, it is a dangerous place to stay. The constructs and confines of the conditioning that reinforce a particular shape though ideals, beliefs, generational wounds, traumas, patterns, etc. can be an exhausting maze to navigate. They are both rational and irrational. They hold clues for breakthroughs and they are also traps.

To escape the fate of being a creature of the creases, we must be willing to entertain and imagine the idea of another way to become a different version of ourselves. What if we let go of the notion that who and what we can become is woven into a fibrous medium such as paper? What if we could embrace another form that is more conducive to shapeshifting into new expressions and versions of ourself? Who could we be? What could we create and experience?

In being no stranger to change and all of the upheaval it can bring, I have come to understand the importance of being able to set an intention to see myself and my circumstances from another perspective and vantage point. I am very lucky to be able to be gifted with the intuitive skills and insights gained through my healing work, as I have come to understand that not everything is truly as it seems. When I run into these tough times, I recognize them as opportunities to learn and grow as they often become valuable road maps for the next level of clients (and eventually friends) I will soon meet. In being a living expression of adaptability and resilience, I have come to understand that it is an ever changing shifting ground where the terrain is always morphing. I am transcending this “paper reality” and surrendering into another form that can help me create in new ways. It is both exciting and terrifying as well as necessary if I am to survive. As the days grow longer with darkness closing out this year, I am doing my best to detach and let go so that space can be created for something new. I am not destined to be origami.